Following his highly successful turn on Shooting Stars in the 2nd part of athree part interview Angelos Epithemiou sits down with his friend and mentor Bob Mortimer to talk about how he got the job on Shooting Stars and how he tried to get Ulrika into bed with a friend egg.

Bob Mortimer: So, we've gotta ask, 'cause they've kindly come down to see us from The Fix magazine-

Angelos Epithemiou: Who?

BM The Fix magazine – I was explaining earlier about the comedians. Got to ask – Shooting Stars?

AE What about it?

BM How did that happen?

AE Stitch-up. Well, you know how it happened!

BM Well, yeah, but it's the way this works – so the readers of The Fix will know.

AE Oh. Well, you met me-

BM You wrote to me.

AE - I wrote to you -

BM In fact, I've got – shall I get the letter? it's a fricking disgrace... (Bob Leaves)

AE You're telling me! 'Scuse me, I'm gonna have a cupful of this...sick of this...I don't like him, and I don't think I've ever liked-

BM (returns) That's how it all started. “Hello, please give this to Mortimer or Reeve (sic), but Mortimer...more. More Mortimer than Reeve 'cause he knows about all this stuff and everything, thank you from Angelos Epith...theemoo...e-ooo.

AE Epithemiou.

BM Alright, Angelos! And that was accompanied by a CD-

AE Yeah. That's right.

BM ...a CD what you filmed.

AE Yeah, I filmed the CD. And I just said, “It's about bloody time”, you know, “that you give me a job”, and then you wrote back a long bloody letter saying “Do you wanna work...” - all these stupid questions, like “Do you wanna work in telly, on telly-”

BM So you actually sent me a DV- a CDDVD with that letter, which is on a bit of kitchen paper-

AE (chuckles) That's right, yeah!

BM Well, what's funny about that?

AE It's all I had, innit? But I think that it was the right thing to do. Because I'd been having a look at you for some time, and, you know, I thought... “nng, yeah, a lot of what he's doing is weak, now”. And I think, you know, “I could help him out”. So I said, you know, “It's about time you give me a job”, you know, because it's like, I've been badgering him for years and years and years, you know...

BM This is just lies!

AE It's not true, because I have never met him, but in my head I had.

Harry Deansway Why comedy?

AE Who?

HD Why comedy? Why the genre of comedy?

AE What...?

BM Did you wanna be on telly?

AE Yeah.

BM Well, why not as an actor, or...?

AE I didn't wanna do comedy. Not comedy. I didn't care...

BM That's why you chose Shooting Stars – is that your joke, is it?

AE (laughs) I wanted to just, well... you've seen that show. It's, you, you know – babyish, isn't it? What they do on there...

HD So you thought it would be the easiest way...

AE I thought it would be a good place to go on, talk about me van, talk about me business – you know - and then they go and stitch me up and make me look like on idiot on there.

BM How did we stitch you up?

AE Well, you made me say stupid things-

BM Like?

AE - like, you know, “What hobby do you like?” and all that stuff, and you made a great big bloody thing because I couldn't remember the name of the...

BM Fishing.

AE Fishing, yeah. And you made me...

BM Who made an idiot of themselves – me and Vic, or you? 'Cause you couldn't remember it was called fishing?

AE You made me – you made me make an idiot of themself, and then you kept it in - obviously I didn't want that to stay in the show. And then they go “Oh yeah, we've done all that, yeah”. Then they showed me it and I'm, like, “I look... stupid!”

BM D'ya enjoy it?

AE No... Yeah, I did a bit, yeah...

BM You enjoyed Ulrika, didn't yer?

AE (mumbles) Ulrika, I enjoyed Ulrika – she enjoyed me.

BM I'll tell you what... (speaks into mic) Ask him about Ulrika, Harry - I'm not going to be here, 'cause I know he likes talking about Ulrika. Bit of privacy...

AE Yeah, yeah, yeah...

BM Don't say anything you'll regret, Angelos. (leaves)

AE Yeah, don't worry about it. He's off - he doesn't like hearing about this stuff – it's mucky. What do you wanna know?

HD So, Ulrika – did something happen, there?

AE Weeeeellll, you know, I went 'round her house and stuff, you know... She said “Do you want a cup of tea?”. I said “No”... And then she said “Do you want a cup of coffee?” I said “No”. And then she said “Do you want a Coca-Cola?” and I said “No”, then she said “Do you want some milk?” and I said “Yes - I do want some milk”, and she said “I haven't got any”. So we had to go through all that, you know, that was the first thing we had to get over. She went down the shop, and she got some milk, and I, you know... I was alright then, I felt comfortable with her, you know. Then... and then her kids starting running in and out, and running in and out, and running in and out – and there's loads of them, I don't know if you know, I think she's got about ten, I think, something like that – you know, it makes things difficult for me. I'm thinking, “Any minute now, I'm gonna make me move, I'm gonna make me move, I'm gonna make me move...” And then when I did make me move... You know... (clears throat)... It was embarrassing. Because it was like, I don't think I made it clear, that I... what my intentions were, you know. And so, it's, we just stood there, really. And I don't think saying to someone, “Can I fry you an egg?” is any sort of, like, chat-up line. Now I think that. Now I think that... you know. So... I left, really, I left the house, you know. I'll have to wait 'til next year, and see how we get on next year.

HD Who invited you? Did you invite yourself 'round?

AE Yeah. Well, I said I wanted to chat about my book...

HD Your book? You've got a book?

AE No! I haven't. I had to make that up. Any way you can, you know, to get through the door.

HD So nothing happened, but you felt there was something?

AE Definitely. She... she got her eye on me. I know that. Everyone knows that, you know. But it's just, it's just getting to the next stage, which, you know, is always the tricky bit. I'm sure you know, I mean, looking at you. You've probably had your fair share of problems...

HD Yeah

HD You must have had quite a volume increase of interest since you've been on telly?

AE It's been stupid, all these idiots, you know, saying “ALRIGHT ANGELOS!”, you know, keep calling me a 'leg-end'. Don't know why they call me that...'leg-end'.

HD What does that mean?

AE I don't know! I don't know. I'm just thinking, “Is it something I've said? Is it how I look...?” 'Leg-end'. I don't know! (pause) I'll get to the bottom of it. (Bob appears at the door) I reckon he's behind most of it...

HD He's just standing at the door! Yeah, we're finished, we're finished about Ulrika.

BM Yer didn't say anything too filthy, did yer?

AE No, I didn't say nothing filthy! I told him what happened – nothing.

HD He said people on the street keep calling him a 'leg-end'.

BM Yeah?

AE Yeah, I'm having a lot of problems with it. He said, is there any, like, people interested in stuff, and I said “Yeah! There's people, like, writing to me all the time, and calling me “Angelos, you're a leg-end” and I don't know why they're saying that.

BM Legend, Angelos.

AE Who?

BM Legend, one word – legend.

HD Have you got any tips Bob, for dealing with the pressures of fame, for Angelos?

AE Tits.

BM Titties. (pause) How they can help you cope with the... wh-what?

AE Tits.

BM Tits?

AE Have you got any tits? Is that what you said?

HD Tips...

AE & BM Oh! Tips!

HD ...tips for dealing with, because fame can be hard for some people to deal with, so Bob might be able to give you some advice on that, I don't know.

BM Are you still working at the van?

AE Errrrr...no. No. I stopped months ago, to be honest with you.

BM Did you?

AE Yeah. Yeah...

BM The van's still there?

AE It's still there, just telling...John-

BM Harry!

AE I was just telling Harry, him, it's got a puncture on it.

BM You can't shift it.

AE You can't, cant serve tea in a van like that! Can't cook – all the bacon slides off the griddle!

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Shooting Stars DVD is out now and you can see Angelos Epithemiou perform live here

Join us for part two next time where Angelos unveils his ideas for future TV projects