Its time for part two of the serialization of Rich Fulcher’s fantastic new book Tiny Acts Of Rebellion, this week Rich informs Fixers how to reek havoc at your local boutique hotel.

The name of the game with hotels these days is what I like to call “cute honesty”. When the boutiquey Eastern European hotel clerk hands you a bill called “the damage”, one is expected to laugh at the disarming sincerity of the statement. Ha ha, oh those charming Slovenian jerkoffs! Another example of hotels acting coy with fakey-fake bluntness is when they re-label the “Do Not Disturb” signs with something like “Leave me alone”. What next? Will they start calling the English Breakfast buffet “The Vomit Inducer”? Should we expect to see a sign on the minibar reading “The money sucking drink cage”? No. THIS MUST END NOW.

Here’s the tiny act we can all do to strike back: make your own “Do Not Disturb” Signs. This will require some arts and crafts skills, but you can handle it. Get a piece of cardboard (an old nuclear waste sign should do) and simply cut out the hole to doorknob specification and write any message you want. The more random the better. Some of my favorite signs are:

. “My Asshole is burning.”

. “I hate cupcakes.”

. “My cat is taking some fun poops.”

. “Long live Stalin!”

. “I am an insane Nurse.”

. “Do not clean up blood.”

. “Who cares what the sign says you are going to fucking knock anyway!

The last one will require A0 paper

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Buy the book here.

Document your own TAR - http://tinyactsofrebellion.com/